Today’s Post: Be Careful Of What You Wish For!

Okay, admit it.  You have said, at least once in your life time, “I wish my life were different” or “I wish I could do _______ (fill in the blank)”.

Be careful what you wish for….because you WILL get it.  Especially when you are not totally prepared for it when the opportunity comes your way.

For the past 15 years I have spent most of the year away from home.  Weeks or months at a time living out of a suitcase, hotel rooms every night, restaurant and truck stop food, mile after mile crossing state lines, baking in the hot summer sun or freezing in the cold winter snow.  Finally getting home and all I wanted to do was sleep for a couple days before I do the laundry and cook meals.  Then prepared to do it all over again.

For the past five years I have longed to be home.  Permanently.  If I were home I could do what I really want to do.  Create things for my family and spend all my time up to my elbows in paper, glue, and ink.

IF I were home I could get the housework done in a sane manner instead of cramming a months worth of work in five or six days.  IF I were home I could get the business paperwork done on a schedule that would make that dreaded task easier to do.  IF I were home I could spend my time in my craft room learning how to make things I had wished I could make.  Try my hand at using handmade paper flowers and glitter on projects.  Learn how to create in the style of “Shabby Chic”.  IF I were home I could make more YouTube video tutorials.

The list of “IF’s” was very long.  I found myself becoming excited about the prospect of being home and making my list of “IF’s” into lists of “DONE”.  While alone, and bored, in the truck I was driving I would get an idea.  A box to hold 4-1/4 x 5-1/2 inch greeting cards – about 6 to 8.  The box would also hold the same amount of 3 x 3 inch note cards, and about 12 gift tags.  There would be a space for postage stamps and the box would include a pen.  I would go over in my mind how I would construct the box to make it sturdy and last for a long time.

Many days were spent thinking about what I could make IF I were home.  The excitement was so great that I looked forward to the day it would all happen.

Well…that day has arrived.  Where do I find myself?  Not in my craft room, not in front of my video camera, not up to my elbows in paper.  I am locked in a malaise .  Click the highlighted word “malaise” to see the meaning.

I have a personality that requires structure.  I am most successful when I make a list of things to be done during a day and being able to check off the items on the list.  When I don’t create structure in my life then I begin to fall apart.  I am working my way out of my self imposed pit and I have a plan.  That plan began with finding a part time job.  My most important requirement was to GET OUT OF THE  HOUSE.  Be around people instead of being a hermit.

I have found the part time job at my local grocery store as a housekeeper.  In this job I interact with the general public as well as my co-workers.  I have a time to be at work and I have duties that I need to perform during a time frame.  The first few days just about killed me.  After 13 years of sitting on my butt all the time I now am required to walk and be on my feet for 8 hours.  I have survived it.

I felt it was necessary to let you all know that I am in a small amount of difficulty and I need to be honest with you.  That is my SECOND step in getting myself back on track.  Honesty.  Being honest with you and being honest with myself.  It may be a little while before I next post anything creative.

So, there it is.