Today’s Post: Be Careful Of What You Wish For!

Okay, admit it.  You have said, at least once in your life time, “I wish my life were different” or “I wish I could do _______ (fill in the blank)”.

Be careful what you wish for….because you WILL get it.  Especially when you are not totally prepared for it when the opportunity comes your way.

For the past 15 years I have spent most of the year away from home.  Weeks or months at a time living out of a suitcase, hotel rooms every night, restaurant and truck stop food, mile after mile crossing state lines, baking in the hot summer sun or freezing in the cold winter snow.  Finally getting home and all I wanted to do was sleep for a couple days before I do the laundry and cook meals.  Then prepared to do it all over again.

For the past five years I have longed to be home.  Permanently.  If I were home I could do what I really want to do.  Create things for my family and spend all my time up to my elbows in paper, glue, and ink.

IF I were home I could get the housework done in a sane manner instead of cramming a months worth of work in five or six days.  IF I were home I could get the business paperwork done on a schedule that would make that dreaded task easier to do.  IF I were home I could spend my time in my craft room learning how to make things I had wished I could make.  Try my hand at using handmade paper flowers and glitter on projects.  Learn how to create in the style of “Shabby Chic”.  IF I were home I could make more YouTube video tutorials.

The list of “IF’s” was very long.  I found myself becoming excited about the prospect of being home and making my list of “IF’s” into lists of “DONE”.  While alone, and bored, in the truck I was driving I would get an idea.  A box to hold 4-1/4 x 5-1/2 inch greeting cards – about 6 to 8.  The box would also hold the same amount of 3 x 3 inch note cards, and about 12 gift tags.  There would be a space for postage stamps and the box would include a pen.  I would go over in my mind how I would construct the box to make it sturdy and last for a long time.

Many days were spent thinking about what I could make IF I were home.  The excitement was so great that I looked forward to the day it would all happen.

Well…that day has arrived.  Where do I find myself?  Not in my craft room, not in front of my video camera, not up to my elbows in paper.  I am locked in a malaise .  Click the highlighted word “malaise” to see the meaning.

I have a personality that requires structure.  I am most successful when I make a list of things to be done during a day and being able to check off the items on the list.  When I don’t create structure in my life then I begin to fall apart.  I am working my way out of my self imposed pit and I have a plan.  That plan began with finding a part time job.  My most important requirement was to GET OUT OF THE  HOUSE.  Be around people instead of being a hermit.

I have found the part time job at my local grocery store as a housekeeper.  In this job I interact with the general public as well as my co-workers.  I have a time to be at work and I have duties that I need to perform during a time frame.  The first few days just about killed me.  After 13 years of sitting on my butt all the time I now am required to walk and be on my feet for 8 hours.  I have survived it.

I felt it was necessary to let you all know that I am in a small amount of difficulty and I need to be honest with you.  That is my SECOND step in getting myself back on track.  Honesty.  Being honest with you and being honest with myself.  It may be a little while before I next post anything creative.

So, there it is.

Leslie

 

 

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7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Carissa
    Feb 23, 2015 @ 12:14:42

    A very smart and loving woman once told me “This too, shall pass.” While she rubbed my hair and kissed my forehead.
    Your Malaise is going to be gone one day and you will remember this day and be glad the fog passed. Anytime we are uncomfortable, we are growing and learning. That’s all that is happening. You are being shaped and molded by God in this season if your life. I know this is hard, and that is OK. But its not going to last long. You and Dad are part if my “why” and I am excited about it.
    I love you

    Reply

  2. Pati
    Feb 23, 2015 @ 12:59:58

    I would not worry about it, do what, you need to do and, when, it needs done. Life will take care of the rest. A person can only do so much. 🙂

    Reply

  3. gardenpinks
    Feb 23, 2015 @ 14:01:51

    Well done on getting a job 🙂 That deserves a medal in itself. You will be exhausted to start with but soon you will take it all in your stride and then your mind will start working overtime working out what you can create in your craft room! It is great having this job because you are back home every day and that housework won’t build up but a bit can be done every day.
    Love and hugs
    Lynn xx

    Reply

  4. Jen
    Feb 23, 2015 @ 19:58:00

    Leslie, I know are a blessing wherever you are! When my daughter went to K5 I was going to do all these things like paint our baseboards, organize, you get the idea. I came to the conclusion that being home alone all day does not make for a happy me. I got a job at a new bakery and that allowed me to be home after school and still have time for cooking meals and such. I can see when my husband retires, health willing, I am still going to want a little part time job.
    If it doesn’t work out at the grocery can you work at Michaels and try to cut down on the long checkout lines?
    It’s great to hear from you even if it isn’t crafts-related.
    Keep the faith, Jen

    Reply

  5. Jen
    Mar 09, 2015 @ 20:38:47

    Holy cats I saw your Instagram of 8.6 mi?!?!?
    I usually get 5.6 in at work with recess duty, but on weekends a whole lot less.
    I wanted to tell you DD and I have a new blog http://DollsBetweenUs.wordpress.com .. It may not be your thing but you are welcome to say hello anytime regardless of the subject

    Reply

    • Message In A Fold
      May 03, 2015 @ 21:52:50

      Jen, that was one of the days I thought I was going to die from the pain 😀 I’ve made it through to the other side 😀 That was a 6 aspirin day for sure. Now I log about 7 miles each day and my body is adjusting. Love the new blog you share with your daughter. Thanks for the link. I’m following it.
      Leslie

      Reply

  6. Betsy Skagen
    Mar 22, 2015 @ 14:51:35

    Hang in there. It sounds as if it is a good change…with a lot of adjustment! I can’t wait to see what you start creating next.

    Reply

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