Feeling like you are in the middle of a video game?

You know the kind where the player shoots at aliens or bad guys.  Or maybe World of Warcraft with the plethora of giants, fairies, swordsmen, and other inhabitants out to annihilate you?

We have, essentially, been out on the road since just before Christmas.  A few days here and there we were home…but not for long.  We got home on March 16th and I have been battling myself for over a week.  Some days I hit the bed thinking my “Life Meter” is about empty.

Meal planning for 10 days:  I was stoked to get my crock pots out and let them do the cooking for me.  Plop the ingredients in the device, turn it on low, leave it for 6 to 8 hours.  That was hit and miss.  Some of the meals were actually good while others….well let’s just say the meal suffered a traumatic injury.

I don’t like chicken – this crock pot chicken recipe was REALLY GOOD and that is saying a lot.  This is the recipe I used.

We were to have our neighbors over last Sunday for barbecue ribs, baked beans, and baked potatoes.  All cooked in the crock pot.  Here is the recipe I used.  The ribs were stewed in their own juices and this was a FAIL!  Pow, pow.  The dinner with our neighbors was  a precursor to playing a card game called Phase 10 that we all enjoy.

House cleaning:  Last week, on the Flylady.net site, was the main bathroom and one other room.  I had busted one of the toilet brushes in January and needed to purchase new the next time we were home.  Got two new ones when we went grocery shopping.

This activity, as a whole, didn’t get done very well.  More of a lick and a promise.  Give the chore a less than heartfelt swipe and promise to do better later.  Well….later has yet to arrive.

Paperwork for our business:  This is when things began to take a turn for the worse.  Spend one whole day organizing our trip envelopes and getting file folders made.  Printing out the papers that had been submitted to our dispatch offices to complete these trip envelopes was a long process.  I ran out of printer ink and my day was over.

Next day was printing out invoices and statements from Corporate Lodging for our hotel stays during January through March…after I had made a trip to the office supply store for an ink cartridge.  Printing bank statements for January and February.  Trying to remember the passwords and user names of the myriad accounts was a time suck.

The rest of the week was filled with data entry and wishing I could be in my craft room making something and doing a video for my YouTube channel.  Data entry won out over my creative time.

Thursday, we had to make a trip to Wichita, Kansas for a seminar Joe had to attend on Friday, at the FAA.  While he was occupied I went off on an adventure.  I was in search of Debra Higgs, one of my Facebook and YouTube friends.  I spent two and a half hours with her at her home.  What a lovely visit I had.  The time went by too quickly and I totally forgot to take a picture of the two of us to commemorate the event.  Boo!

Rich Mom University:  While we were out on the road the first part of March, I was notified Rich Mom University was open for enrollment.  I signed up for the course on the first day then spent my nights in hotel rooms watching the various videos and attempting to do justice to the learning process.  Once we were home I made it a point to get up before Joe and daybreak arrived to get in an hour or two of a lesson before tackling my many duties during our 10 days at home.

Let me tell you….retention of information in an already crammed up brain is a bit daunting and hard to do.  Old, long buried, habits began to worm their way up from my psyche.  Self sabotage  crept in.  Lists I had made to keep me on track were useful.  It was great to see a messy scratch off go through each item I completed.  I was getting many things done while feeling like I was getting nothing done.  The looming deadline of going back out on the road dangled before me like a rotting carrot.

I began to think about cancelling my subscription to Rich Mom University because I can’t give it the time it needs.  It is a Lifetime membership for the initial cost.  Trying to see it from that perspective would help in some moments but not in others.

Joe says he can see the amount of things I’ve learned from this course, even with my short periods of dabbling with it.  For now he has set a time frame of me being home in September so that I can put the necessary time in to begin working on my hand made business.

For the past nine days I have been cramming in a work load that would normally take a month to do.

This morning, while entering a Facebook post to wish all my friends and family a very Happy Easter, I was blown to smithereens by a post made by Barbara Diamond featuring a short film made by Nathaniel Matanick.    The video is titled “ReMoved”.  It is about a troubled child dropped into foster care.  This hit me like a ton of bricks.  Triggers from my own childhood and living in foster homes assaulted me.  My “Life Meter” was emptied.

My Lord and Savior died on the cross for me and today we celebrate his rising from the grave.  Throughout my life He has guided me.  Placing people in my life to direct me in the way I need to go.  More often than not I fought each of them and chose a path in the opposite direction.  He never stopped guiding me.  He never stopped putting people in my life to show me the way I needed to go.  I thank God for the person I have become over these many years.  I thank God for the many people he put in my life when I could not see their purpose, nor His.

This is my attempt to let you know where I have been these past days and why I have virtually disappeared from everyone and everything.  In a few short days I will be gone from home once again.  I have a promise from Joe that we will be taking an extra day off after five days of hard pushing so that I can have the time to create a video for my YouTube followers.  So until later –