Step INTO your fear.

This is what I fear most.

This is what I fear most.

I’ve used lace before.  I’ve used beaded ribbons before.  I’ve used flowers, too.  Doesn’t mean that I no longer fear the silly things.

Inadequate.  Judged and found wanting.  Self recrimination.  Self abuse.

I suppose, like other things in life, you can develop a tolerance for horrid things after you do it/them multiple times.

The tag shown above took me over two hours to make.  I had the heat embossed swirl applied to the tag in about four minutes as I did the tutorial on heat embossing with stencils.  That was the easy part.

For me…facing my fears is akin to finding a spider coming from above on its invisible web.  No matter the size, minute or as big as a quarter, that spider will send me running and squealing.  Calling out for help to my “Spider Slayer” husband.  When he is not home to do this job then I am left to deal with the spider myself.  Most of the time it gets safely away to torment me another day.

A small pile of lace trim sitting on my work table can make my stomach twist, my heart beat faster, dread well up from the depths of my core.  My eyes flick back and forth from the lace trim to the blank tag.  My brain has shut down at this stage and all I feel is the fear.  I find that I have been holding my breath.  You’d think that I was in imminent danger of my very life.

While I’m creating cards or other abominations in my craft room, I start with a glimmer of an idea.  As I begin the process of gathering my supplies that glimmer turns into a spark, then into a fully fledged idea that I will work toward.  Not so when faced with lace trims.

I used my video camera to document my progress from paralyzing fear to actually completing the tag.  As I said, it took well over two hours to make this one tag.  I’ve edited the video down to about 18 minutes.

So anyone out there that is scared out of their minds, terrified to make the first move, and have clamoring voices in your head telling you to STOP…..Take a deep breath and STEP INTO YOUR FEAR.  You’ll never know how it will turn out.  Your first attempt may look like something that needs to be immediately thrown in the trash bin.  That is not the message.

The message is YOU DID IT AND  YOU SURVIVED IT!  You learned a little something along the way.  Your next attempt will be better.

Maybe you will have found a nugget of information to use on your next project, whatever that may be, as you watch my video.

Leslie

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jen
    Aug 21, 2015 @ 22:11:25

    Leslie, I really appreciated this on several levels both related to creative attempts and life in general. I am treating this as a message to examine in my own life. I think perfectionism may also live and thrive in this place of fear.
    DD is entering middle school. The principal advised us that he is looking towards the end result in 8th grade… Between now and then there will be highs and lows but they all lead toward growth. Don’t freak when you hit the first dip. Get up and keep going. Jen

    Reply

    • Message In A Fold
      Aug 22, 2015 @ 06:35:37

      Very sound advice from a school principal! Teen years are brutal….all the hormone changes and the nasty peer pressure within the halls of a school. Gadzooks! I remember those days not so fondly :/

      Perfectionism lives in this house as well :/ I’m trying to be a better person and a leader….sometimes that means I have to fully show my dark side as well.

      That tag with the lace and stuff scared me so badly I was shaking the whole time while the demons in my head were falling all over themselves to tell me how stupid I am.

      I appreciate your words of encouragement and letting me know that you suffer from the same problems as I do….in a different way but still the same 😀
      Leslie

      Reply

      • Jen
        Aug 22, 2015 @ 08:22:08

        Last night we watched the first episode of Chef’s Table on Netflix
        https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chef%27s_Table
        And I was struck by the first chef profiled. he is one of the top chefs in the world. They had 2 lemon tarts left and his sous chef made one slip and it cracked on the counter. Instead of screaming at the sous chef, he saw the beauty of its new form. He ended up rethinking his whole cuisine! The tart became “Oops we dropped the lemon tart” which is a dessert that looks more like a painting than something from a bakery.
        Here’s to inspiration when we have a cracked tart in front of us!

      • Message In A Fold
        Aug 22, 2015 @ 12:31:41

        That is a great example of a leader under pressure who can think on his feet. Thank you for sharing that with me 😀
        Leslie

  2. Betsy Skagen
    Aug 27, 2015 @ 18:53:31

    Leslie, You continue to amaze me. Talk about stepping into your fear–you have taken on making videos of your projects–that’s a big time fear of mine! I already spend oodles of time on photography, photoshopping, writing, I can’t imagine one more thing! Thanks for coming by my blog. I love to visit yours and despite my few comments, yours is one of the few I visit regularly. Along with all the above tasks, as well as instagram and design team social media, I find that I rarely make time to visit and comment on people’s blogs. Then I feel guilty about it…

    Reply

    • Message In A Fold
      Aug 29, 2015 @ 14:38:06

      Thank you for such a nice comment. I find keeping up with this blog (which I don’t do very well) and making YouTube videos I get a bit overwhelmed by the computer time spent. I’d be a blithering idiot running through town with her hair on fire if I had to also spend time on Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest. I do have a website that is in desperate need of updating to get rid of the Stampin’ Up! stuff I have plastered all over the site. :/

      I will make the time to go to your blog to see what you are up to. I so enjoyed your post sharing the tags you have made of family vacations – retro style 😀 Loved it!
      Leslie

      Reply

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