As a new mother, I can relate to what my daughter Carissa is going through.
Being a first time parent is the biggest mystery/suspense thriller ever! An emotional roller coaster ride. One moment in total awe as we gaze at these tiny people. Another moment terrified when these little precious beings cry. Are they hungry? Are they wet or soiled? Will I hurt this little thing when I change the diaper? Oh God help me to not break a leg. Getting them dressed the fear is of breaking an arm as the parent struggles with the unbelievable strength in the arms of these little ones as they fight to not be part of the clothing ritual.
Always fearful of not supporting the neck of these newborns a fear that is gut wrenching surges through as this new parent watches others (nurses and grandmothers) flop the babies around like sacks of potatoes.
As a grandmother I know, from my own experience, how much these wee ones can be safely jostled around. I also know very well the fear in my daughter’s heart. Her protective instincts over her newborn babies will rear up and she will confront me fully if she feels her babies are in peril. It is as it should be. Carissa is bonding with her babies and claiming them as hers.
There are moments of extremely strong and powerful feelings of, for lack of a better word, ownership. Carissa uttered several times over the past couple days “I can’t believe they are mine”. The wonderment in her voice was tinged with a little fear. Sort of like she was dreaming and none of this was real.
The reality sets in when her girls cries are rich and loud. It is time to feed them. Night time is the worst for any new mother. A time when the sleep deprived body and mind longs for the surcease of sleep. Seemingly just as Carissa falls into the much needed sleep the air is split by the call of her daughters.
From my experience, the sounds of their suckling and little baby noises immediately change the feeling of frustration of being wakened into an all consuming and boundless well of love. Occasionally a longing for the feeding time to swiftly pass and a return to sleep.
I am here to ensure she does get her sleep in the daytime. Once the feeding and diaper changing has been completed in the early morning hours it is off to bed for Carissa for totally uninterrupted sleep. I can handle the feeding and diapering as my little girl recuperates in the safe embrace of her bed.
These two little girls….
Are being loved on at home by a very proud and happy Grandpa and Grandma. This is just so sweet.